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Machine of Mirror

by Torchiana

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1.
They'll try to drink right from your cup With a thousand filled up to the top I'll keep the dirt You take the bliss With smoke-stained lungs As masochist I'll take my steps Self-conscious of The space I take In this gruesome place Something is seeping through the mud Steel wings screeching up above Machine of mirror Just keeps pressing on Taking what it wants Unreconcilable
2.
You gotta catch yourself Ain't nobody else Gonna grab you when you stray Keep a steady eye today Every single day drains light If you don't keep your head on right Never stop to rest your mind Or it will bury you in time What you watch grows Don't you know Didn't anybody tell you Default steps Rut digs your feet in Crutches growing to replace them Suck them lifeless Up the ankle On until your head is hollowed
3.
Another red-letter day (Just hand it over to them) Oceans of lost faith Another red-letter day (After all, wasn't much to begin) Drown in blue disgrace Nothing to say but oh well (That about sums it up) Guess they'll just toe the line (No one to stand for us) I fell (That about sums it up) Right for the devil's lies (We were undersold and undercut) Nothing's changed in all these years (Yea that about sums it up) Just found new words for slave (Just comes down to campaign pay stubs) To make your body move like gears (Ain't it all so clear when it's done) Bow your head down till the grave (All that mattered was keeping your job) Another red-letter day (All we have is just an empty vessel) True colors are shown Another red-letter day (It was never meant to be full) Another rapist takes the throne
4.
Good enough isn't
5.
Saw the firefly you sent When your laugh passed me by and left Never got to say goodbye Just tried to resurrect in graphite But couldn't quite find your lines Swallowed up by some lost tide I'm glad you're not in pain anymore, Mike Maybe we'll meet again sometime
6.
Can't even give you Ten seconds time But always expecting You'll engage with mine Shadow chase the mirror Miss another Bright sunny day It just fades away Built-up my tracks With a broken heart Layed down my rails Right along the scars Hammered every nail in Cracked back wide open Another sunny day Just passed away Sun streaks splintering in Warmth walking along the carpet To meet my feet Make me grin First time in weeks You'd be surprised Just how often I Look right at something But I don't see it Shadow chase the mirror Miss another Bright sunny day It just fades away
7.
Tilt 03:52
Trouble gathering myself Think I left some pieces back home Where I last moved out I got to get back there I don't know how Things are just starting to swell What is this beneath my feet Reaching up to grab at me Bleaching joy white with guilt The floor is always on a tilt Thank god I bought myself some time But that mountain hanging over me Is always on the rise I don't know what space there is to take When the shadow keeps my pace
8.
Stump 04:06
Played it safe Most of my life Not a thing To feed at my mind But it was my mind All of the time It did not sleep So neither did I There was something else Going on here Ain't quite put my finger on it But I hear Deep dark buzzing in my ear Growing louder every year Just a stump seen But these roots stretch deep Growing all along Four hundred years strong So I tunneled down and found So many bodies root bound Pawn your time off For your very own cross
9.
Kept seeing owls the last few days Before you had to be on your way Didn't wake me up that morning Which I should've known was a warning Your pace just slowed until it stopped The sun set on your window spot I'm glad you're not in pain anymore, Jade Maybe we'll meet again someday
10.
Hope I see you again Hope that you are still my friend We could pick up right where we left off If I haven't changed too much Hope the road hasn't been too rough Things are so hectic, I'm sorry I haven't kept up Now I'm so far from where you are Back then we stood in the same spot Hope I see you again Hope that you are still my friend We could pick up right where we left off If I haven't changed too much
11.
Another Day 03:14
Another day Another chance to say I can take away What I want You wake up in the morning thinking I am it I am all there is Anybody try to tell me different Has it coming to the back of their head Another day Another chance to say I will take away What I want What do you get the man who has everything Who sucked the rivers dry And blamed it on his kin Who took every turn With only him in mind Who's selfishness Is where his fame and fortune lie You get him stolen goods To feed his hollowed soul Try to fill the void With sentiments he stole When it all comes crashing down On those below He'll take the bailout And start building his new home Another day Another chance to say I will take back What's mine
12.
The Maze 02:55
Took a turn Don't know where it goes But had to make a call I couldn't just stall Then I got myself lost Couldn't even keep track Of how to find my way back Bias is a maze I don't know how we'll ever leave this place Backtracked Figured I'd think it through It's hard to tell the truth From the stories Now I'm drowning in worries Didn't even keep track Of how to find my way back Bias is a maze I don't know if we'll ever leave this place I took a turn Don't know where it goes But had to make a call
13.
Saw you last on Christmas eve A shell of what you used to be But you left yourself in those old songs When you taught me how to sing along Drinking anything but water Celebrating to the final hour I'm glad you're not in pain anymore, Bruce Maybe we'll dance again by the blue spruce

about

This record encompasses many emotional, mental, political and social themes that I've attempted to write music about in the past, and have been thinking about and discussing in particular within the last year. Among these are addiction, confirmation bias, white privilege and guilt, the death of loved ones, and the emotional weight of change and time.

Sonically, it feels like the best attempt I've made yet to couple songs with a variety of recording techniques, auditory textures and spaces that accentuate the meaning of each song while providing a wide range of sound spaces as well as auditory clarity and degradation. The whole record was recorded through a 4-track tape machine, with a spectrum of analog and digital manipulation. I used homemade mics, thrifted mics, and professional quality mics in combination to achieve different sound qualities.

The name of the record comes from a misheard Tall Dwarfs lyric, which turned out to be the end and beginning of two separate lyrics with different words. The phrase stuck with me regardless. Tall Dwarfs have always been an inspiration of mine, particularly in the realm of lo-fi. They similarly recorded on a 4-track tape machine and embraced the infinite possibilities of textures, sounds, spontaneity, time and happy accidents that recording in a safe and warm home setting allows for; just a few of the many reasons why I embrace lofi in my music.

Thank you for listening.

credits

released October 16, 2020

Written, recorded, and mixed by Matthew Torchiana Hoban between the fall of 2019 and the summer of 2020 in an apartment complex in Athens, GA.
Mastered by Prudence Delilah in the fall of 2020 in Philadelphia. Pru is a true friend, an incredible songwriter and engineer, and an inspiration.

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Torchiana Athens, Georgia

Singer/songwriter music by Matthew Torchiana Hoban, based in Athens GA.
For booking, email torchianamusic@gmail.com
I'm always down to play.

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