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As long as I gaze on​.​.​.

by Torchiana

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1.
Cake 02:56
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I want my cake wanna eat it too But I made my bed there's nothing I can do Just this one time let me go back on my word Let me get right back erase that signature From when I didn't know nothing and they just led me on Giving up my days until my light reaches its dawn Sunshine of my life do you even know what's going on I want my cake wanna eat it too But I'm starving here while they eat all the food Just this one time let me go back on my word Let me get right back erase that signature From when I didn't know nothing and they just led me on Giving up my days until my light reaches its dawn Sunshine of my life do you even know what's going on I didn't think about it Didn't think about it at all I want my cake wanna eat it too But I made my bed there's nothing I can do
2.
The Frozen Lake 01:25
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3.
Have Another 02:18
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Doesn't even matter but that don't mean that I won't care That don't mean that I won't make it the center of attention here Let it go and pull out all my hair Let it seep right out of my glare Well the taste of regret was sickly sour but I think I'll have another Did you know I was hanging by a wire with nothing but my pinky finger to keep me in the air The wind came rolling past knocked me on my ass The taste of failure was sickly sour but I think I'll have another and another
4.
Wandering 02:49
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When the mind gets to wandering it will find what it's looking for in any case picking up and sifting through every grain taking the rabbit hole far as it goes to explain what it already chose When the mind gets to wandering in its shadow well it won't have to stretch too thin Everything it needs creeps back again watching the grey cracked rot grow just to show what it already knows
5.
The Wedge 01:20
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No one ever taught us how to talk about the wedge digging under our skin And no matter what we tried we still turned out just a couple of stubborn men But there's no problem No there's no problem at all There's no problem I've got no problem at all But if you put the right amount of pressure then even concrete will fall
6.
Smothered in Purrs 00:48
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7.
Say what you will 01:33
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They will sow right through the sky tie it up real tight take it home with them They will dig into the core take all the warmth They will dig into the core steal all the warmth You can say what you will they will not hear you You can scream what you will they will not hear you No, not at all
8.
Saturated 02:19
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Over saturate it You tell me you're the greatest Cause you got all the loudest mics So clearly you are always right I'll be sitting in my seat drinking till my eyes recede but give a holler if you need a little bit of empathy Cause you know that I love that shit You know that I live for it Please forgive if I don't bend a knee to every living king I see cause you know it's inherited They'll never know the lives we live Full of leaps and bounds and obstacles and a heavy dose of rock and roll Cause you know that I love that shit You know that I live for it
9.
Well Weathered 01:57
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I will be at home well weathered with thick skin wrapped around my brittle bones You can say I told you so cause you did You can find me at home well weathered steady as a glacier still as stone You can say I told you so cause you know that you want to You can say I told you so cause you did tell me so again and again Well weathered is what I am Well weathered with thick skin cut and sown back together again
10.
Take a Step Back 00:45
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11.
Without 01:24
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And just like that the world's moved on and left me standing here without you by my side Without
12.
Short Haired Lady 01:56
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It could so easily be but it ain't It could so easily be taken away but hasn't yet and that is a blessing I miss so many so much But I know you'll always be with me Short haired lady
13.
Back Again 00:36
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14.
Up there 02:44
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Grease soaked skin everyday hardening turning your gaze in till the lights start glowing grim wondering what it looks like up there what does it look like up there when do I get my share Cause everyday another weight is packed on top of it You better keep up with that grind or you're left behind today or tomorrow you'll just never know Tower gonna fall cause you know we just rushed through it all forgetting support beams just trying to get up and see what it looks like up there what does it look like up there when do I get my share Cause everyday another weight is packed on top of it better hope you can keep up or you're giving in today or tomorrow you'll just never know
15.
Overflown 02:17
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I'm full of it You can see it in my sunken eye sockets in the morning when the grey light shines and the day hangs overhead haunting I'm full of it almost overflown any day, any thing could spark it this fire that only grows
16.
Hollow 06:06
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There's a hollow feeling left when you step back take a breath And the reaching doesn't end when all's been said Keeps on grabbing at the source when the moment's run its course And you know it in the end won't be coming back again There's a hollow feeling left when you step back take a breath And the reaching doesn't end when all's been said

about

This album was written and recorded in my apartment in Brewerytown, over the last year I spent in Philadelphia, August 2018- August 2019. The mastering was finished after my move down to Athens, GA.

I began this record with the intention of using only sparse, acoustic instruments, with minimal effects in an attempt to let the songs speak for themselves. "Well Weathered" was the first song recorded for this record in the weeks following a serious bicycle accident I was in. Both the bones in my left forearm were broken, one being a compound fracture. The accident resulted in an eight hour arm surgery, two large scars, three months of physical therapy, and mental trauma. In the following year I laid to rest my dog of five years, graduated college with a BFA, entered the workforce and began chipping away at a mountain of student debt. The songs on this album deal with the burden of debt, trauma, and the mental and physical toll of working 40+ hours a week in food service jobs, along with the feeling of powerlessness accompanying the current political and economic climate.

The album name is a tribute to "Waterloo Sunset" by the Kinks. Every so often I get into a musical rut, and the albums I've been listening to lose their emotional/spiritual effect, leaving me feeling lost and empty. But eventually, I stumble on a song that sends shivers down my spine and reminds me what a beautiful and clarifying thing music can be. "Waterloo Sunset" was one of those songs, and the lyric "As long as I gaze on" perfectly sums up what this album means to me. Even though there are always struggles and goodbyes in life, as long as I gaze on, and keep making and looking for beautiful music and art, then life is still rewarding and magical.

Thanks for listening ya'll.

credits

released August 25, 2019

All songs and instruments written, performed and recorded by Matthew Torchiana Hoban. Guest appearances by the litter of six kittens my partner Cam and I fostered in the spring of 2019 (Tot, Ruckus, Hallow, Sammy, Frankie, and Zine), as well as Cam herself.

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Torchiana Athens, Georgia

Singer/songwriter music by Matthew Torchiana Hoban, based in Athens GA.
For booking, email torchianamusic@gmail.com
I'm always down to play.

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